02
Nov

Red Buttons talks about Old Age

Appearing on Dennis Millers show, Red Buttons announced he was 80 years old, but that 80 is not old. He explained:

Old is when your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and youre barefooted.
Old is when your Doctor doesnt give you x-rays anymore, but just holds you up to the light.
Old is when a sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door nearest your car.
Old is when you remember when the Dead Sea was only sick.
Old is when your wife says lets go upstairs and make Love and you answer Honey, I cant do both

And he adds…

Sure Ive gotten old. Ive had 2 bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, and fought prostate cancer and diabetes. Im half blind, cant hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. I have bouts with dementia, poor circulation, hardly feel my hands and feet anymore, cant remember if Im 85 or 92, but … THANK GOD, I STILL HAVE MY FLORIDA DRIVERS LICENSE.

Most viewed Jokes (20)