Redneck Love Poem
Collards is green, my dogs name is Blue
and Im so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blues and without all them fleas.
You move like the bass, which excite me in May.
You aint got no scales, but I luv you anyway.
Yore as satisfyn as okry jist a-fryn in the pan.
Yore as fragrant as snuff right out of the can.
You have somea yore teeth, for which I am proud;
I hold my head high when were in a crowd.
On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms,
well, Im in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms.
Still them fellers at work, they all want to know,
what I did to deserve such a purty, young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape yore there fer yore man,
to patch up lifes troubles and fix what you can.
Yore as cute as a junebug a-buzzin overhead.
You aint mean like those far ants I found in my bed.
Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt,
you spark up my life moren a fresh load of dirt .
When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack,
my life is complete; Aint nuthin I lack.
Yore complexion, its perfection, like the best vinyl sidin.
despite all the years, yore age just keeps hidin.
Me n yous like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank,
we go together like a skunk goes with stank.
Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentines Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart, its romantic that way.
Some men git roses on that special day
from the cooler at Kroger. Thats impressive, I say.
Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth.
Diamonds are forever, they explain, suave and couth.
But for this man, honey, these wont do.
Cause yore too special, you sweet thang you.
I got you a gift, without taste nor odor,
more useful than diamonds… ITS A NEW TROLLN MOTOR!!
Luv, from yore Romeo
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