You might be a rednack if…

Youve ever re-used a paper plate.

Smith and Wesson attended your wedding without an invitation and there was nothing you could do about it.

When you hear someone talking about the king you dont know whether theyre talking about Elvis or Richard Petty.

You complain about the ban on assault weapons because it make half your guns illegal.

You use a pig for a garbage disposal.

You cant go to church this year because your Sunday socks are being used as the trucks gas cap.

You think the vowels are E..I..E..I..O.

You clean your car or truck out with a leaf blower.

Your tackle box contains dynamite and blasting caps.

You have the policeman hold your beer while you get your license.

You gave your young son a super-soaker water gun and an NRA application for his birthday.

You smoke during your deer hunt after scent-proofing yourself all month.

A tornado goes through your trailers yard and makes it look neater.

Youve got to shuck your toilet paper before you use it.

You have an autographed picture of Bob Barker in your wallet.

You think Meals on Wheels is another name for roadkill.

You spell fertilizer with only 4 letters.

You shot your own 12 point coat rack.

Youve ever slam-shifted a tractor.