You might be a redneck if…

After the divorce you still call your Ex Cuz.

You have a bowling machine in your kitchen.

You pick up your girfriend on a bike for the prom.

The Roto-Rooter man calls for backup when visiting your house.

Your grandmother stands up to pee.

A policeman asks for your ID, and you answer, About what?

You wake up with chocolate in your ears after spending the night in a fine hotel.

Your neighbor spits grass when he talks.

In the delivery room, your husband says, Thats worse than skinning a deer!

You have sworn on your mothers grave while she is standing beside you.

You refer to your cousin as my girlfriend.

You wake up the day after your wedding to find your sister next to you.

You got your tater gun hangin over your couch in your living room as a conversation piece.

Youve ever entered yourself in a Howdy Doody Look-alike Contest.

You go to a museum to see the naked babes in the paintings.

Your lips move while reading a stop sign.

One of the options on your truck is a spitoon.

Your house has a kickstand.

You drive around a parking lot for fun.

Your girlfriend has ever called YOUR parents Ma and Pa.