13
May

Redneck quickies 39

You might be a redneck if…

If you are 20 and you can still go in McDonalds playhouse.

If you think Purina is some kind of Ex-Lax.

Youve ever given a set of Tupperware ice tea glasses as a wedding present.

Your dungarees expose more than half of your crack in the back because the weight of your pocket knife.

Your idea of heaven involves two shotguns and a keg of beer.

You picket your horses on your lawn so you wont have to mow it.

Youre wearing a camoflauge jacket and dipping in your drivers license pic.

You stop to flirt with the person running the drive through at McDonalds.

You save old kitchen appliances for target practice.

You save old kitchen appliances for childrens Christmas presents.

You get up EARLY on Saturday to go yard sale shopping for entertainment.

Your gun cabinet takes up half your living room.

Anytime your kids see a dog they get out their ropes and lasso it and tackle it to the ground.

Your master bathroom has the words porta and potty written on the side.

You cant take a bath in the winter cause the stream is frozen.

You only bathe when it rains.

You think Dueling Banjos is classical music.

You refer to the Surgeon Generals Warning on a pack of cigarettes as your medical encyclopedia.

You go to garage sales to shop for Christmas gifts.

Youre 42 and still have clowns come to your birthday party.

You think possum is the other white meat.

Most viewed Jokes (20)