1) So your daughters a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
Shes a really good lay!

2) My tire was thumping,
I thought it was flat.
When I loooked at the tire,
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!

3) You had your bladder removed,
and youre on the mends.
Heres a bouquet of flowers
And a box of Depends.

4) Youve announced that youre gay,
Wont that be a laugh,
When they find out youre one
Of the Joint Chiefs of Staff!

5) Happy Vasectomy!
Hope you feel zippy!
Cause when I had mine
I got real snippy!

6) Heard your wife left you.
How upset you must be,
But dont fret about it,
She moved in with me!

7) You totaled your car
And cant remember why.
Could it have been
that case of Bud Dry?