Looking back over the years that weve been together,
I cant help but wonder:…
– What was I thinking?
Congratulations on your wedding day!…
– Too bad no one likes your wife.
How could two people as beautiful you….
– have such an ugly baby?
Ive always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love…
– After having met you, Ive changed my mind.
I must admit, you brought Religion in my life…
– I never believed in Hell until I met you.
As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am…
– that youre not here to ruin it for me.
As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts youve given me…
– Like the need for therapy.
Thanks for being a part of my life!!!…
– I never knew what evil was before this!
Before you go,…
I would like you to take this knife out of my back.
– Youll probably need it again.
Someday I hope to get married…
– but not to you.
You look great for your age…
– Almost Lifelike!
When we were together, you always said youd die for me…
– Now that weve broken up, I think its time you kept your promise.
I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best friend…
– So heres his leash, water bowl and chew toys.
We have been friends for a very long time…
– What do you say we call it quits?
Im so miserable without you…
– Its almost like youre here.
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy…
– Did you ever find out who the father was?
You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket…
– Id miss you heaps and think of you often.