Dear:

[ ] Clueless Newbie
[ ] Loser
[ ] indy.netter
[ ] Me tooer
[ ] Pervert
[ ] Geek
[ ] Spammer
[ ] Nerd
[ ] Elvis
[ ] Fed
[ ] Freak
[ ] FLAMENET
[ ] AOLer/Euronetter/PIer/MSNetter
[ ] Other: Unbearably self-righteous person

You Are Being Flamed Because:

[ ] You posted a message in a newsgroup other than your topic
[ ] You posted a binary in pieces LESS than 5000 lines
[ ] You posted a binary in a non-binaries group
[ ] You posted a Chain Letter
[ ] You quoted an ENTIRE post in your reply
[ ] You continued a long, stupid thread
[ ] You started an off-topic thread
[ ] You posted a YOU ALL SUCK message
[ ] You said me too to something or Send ______
[ ] You dont know which group to post in
[ ] You suck
[ ] You brag about things that never happened
[ ] Your sig/alias/server sucks
[ ] You posted a (phone-sex or a make money fast) ad
[ ] You posted something totally uninteresting
[ ] You crossposted
[ ] You posted a message all written in CAPS
[ ] You posted racist shit
[ ] I dont like your tone of voice
[ ] I think you might be a member of CO$
[ ] I think you might be a fed
[ ] You advertised me something not available in the UK
[ ] You junkmailed me

To Repent, You Must:

[ ] Give up your AOL/Euronet/MSN/Planet Internet account
[ ] Bust up your modem with a hammer and eat it
[ ] Jump into a bathtub while holding your monitor
[ ] Actually post something relevant
[ ] Read the f****** FAQ
[ ] Be Pat Buchanans love slave
[ ] Be the guest of honor in alt.flame for a month
[ ] Apologize to everybody in this newsgroup
[ ] Post your tests to alt.test/misc.test

In Closing, Id Like to Say:

[ ] Blow me
[ ] Bite me
[ ] Get a life
[ ] Never post again
[ ] I pity your dog
[ ] I pity your cat
[ ] I pity you
[ ] Go to hell
[ ] I think your IQ must be 7
[ ] Take your s*** somewhere else
[ ] Learn to post or f*** off
[ ] Do us all a favor and jump into some industrial equipment
[ ] See how far your tongue will fit into the electric outlet
[ ] All of the above