Rules of Chocolate

If youve got melted chocolate all over your hands, youre eating it too slowly.

Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. Itll take the edge off your appetite, and youll eat less.

If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

If you eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, that is a balanced diet. They actually counteract each other.

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger. Therefore, you need to eat more chocolate.

Put eat chocolate at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least youll get one thing done.

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Now, isnt that handy?

If you cant eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you cant eat all your chocolate, whats wrong with you?

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. You cant let that happen, can you?

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