Sermon Sleep

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local
church. Reverend, she said, I have a problem, my husband keeps
falling asleep during your sermons. Its very embarrassing. What
should I do?

I have an idea, said the minister. Take this hatpin with you. I
will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to
you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this,
the preacher put his plan to work. And who made the ultimate
sacrifice for you? he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

Jesus! Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.

Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones, said the minister.

Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. Who is
your redeemer? he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs.

God! Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

Right again, said the minister, smiling.

Before long, Mr. Jones again winked off. However, this time the
minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he
made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her
husband with the hatpin again. The minister asked, And what did Eve
say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, You stick that goddamned
thing in me one more time and Ill break it in half and shove it up
your ass!

Amen, replied the congregation.

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