Seven Stages of the Married Cold

Stage 1: Sugar dumpling, Ive really been worried
about my baby girl. Thats a bad sniffle and theres no telling about
these things with all the strep thats going around. Im going to put
you in the hospital for a general check-up and a good rest. I know the
foods terrible, but Im going to bring you dinner every night from
Rosinis. Ive got it all arranged with the floor supervisor.

Stage 2: Listen, darling, I dont like the sound of
that cough. Im going to call Doc Miller to rush over here. Now you go
to bed like a good girl just for papa.

Stage 3: Maybe youd better lie down, honey. Nothing
like a little rest when you feel lousy. Ill bring you something. Have
you got any canned soup?

Stage 4: Now look, dear, be sensible. After youve
fed the kids and gotten the dishes done and the floor mopped, youd
better lie down.

Stage 5: Why dont you take a couple of aspirins?

Stage 6: If youd just gargle or something instead
of sitting around barking like a seal all evening!

Stage 7: Would you stop coughing on me?!? Are you
trying to give me pneumonia?!?

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