Several oneliner jokes

When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

One good turn gets most of the blankets.

There are two kinds of pedestrians – the quick and the dead.

If quitters never win, and winners never cheat, then who is the fool who said, Quit while youre ahead?

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Its not hard to meet expenses, theyre everywhere.

Jury: 12 people who determine which client has the better lawyer.

Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the Y becomes silent.

Most viewed Jokes (20)