Sex in the dark
Jane was becoming frustrated with her husbands insistence that they have sex in the dark. Hoping to free her husband from his inhibitions, during a passionate evening, she flipped on the lamp….. only to discover a cucumber in his hand.

Is THIS what youve been using on me for the past 5 years!?!

Honey, let me explain!

Why you sneaky bastard! she screamed. You impotent son of a —

Speaking of sneaky! he interrupted, maybe youd care to explain our 3 kids!!!