Q: What is the definition of a shame (as in thats a shame)?

A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.

Q: What is the definition of a crying shame?

A: There was an empty seat.

Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

A: An offer you cant understand.

Q. Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

A. From chasing parked ambulances.

Q. Where can you find a good lawyer?

A. In the cemetery.

Q. Whats the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A. A gigolo only screws one person at a time.

Q. Whats the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A. A vampire only sucks blood at night.

Q: If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why dont you swerve to hit him?

A: It might be your bicycle.

Q: Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

A: Because deep down, theyre really good people.

Q: What does a lawyer use for birth-control?

A: His personality.

Q: What can a goose do, a duck cant, and a lawyer should?

A: Stick his bill up his ass.