From Matt Groenings Big Book Of Hell, here are: Lies My Older Brother And Sister Told Me…

The Sleeping Alligator Story Older Bro/Sis: See this? He isnt stuffed, ya know. Hes sleeping. You: Really? Bro/Sis: If you dont believe me, why dont you put your finger in his mouth?

The Boy-Trap Warning Bro/Sis: Inside my closet, theres a little door, and behind that little door, theres a boogey-man, and hes set traps in there, little boy traps. You: Really? Bro/Sis: And theyre baited with CUSTARD. You: Uh-oh.

The Alphabet Trick Bro/Sis: You can come up in the tree fort if you can recite the whole alphabet. You: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y and Z. Bro/Sis: Wrong. Scram.

The Yes-And-No Mind Puzzler Bro/Sis: Yes means no and no means yes. Do you want me to hit you? You: Yes! No! Yes! No! Help!

The Lure Of New Toys Bro/Sis: Theres some new toys for you down in the basement. You should go down there. You: But last time you shut the door and turned off the lights. Bro/Sis: This time we wont.

The Snowflake Story Bro/Sis: Well Ill be!! Identical snowflakes!! You: Lemme see!! Lemme see!! Bro/Sis: Too late. They melted.

The Movie Switcheroo You: Hey!! This isnt Bambi!! Bro/Sis: Thiss bettern Bambi.

The Elf Bro/Sis: Id like you to meet Tom. You: I dont see anybody. Bro/Sis: Toms invisible. You: Oh sure. Bro/Sis: Hes an elf. If youre nice to him, hell give you three wishes. You: Hi, Tom.

The Family Reunion, 20 Years Later Bro/Sis: I dont remember doing any of that stuff to you. Other Bro/Sis: Me neither.