Signs You Bought a Bad Christmas Tree



Two feet tall, forty feet wide



Salesmans opening line: Youre not a cop, are you?



It looks suspiciously like a broom handle with a lot of coat hangers



While you sleep, it gets liquored up and takes the family caravan for a joy ride.



Each branch has Duraflame printed on it.



Keeps heckling your lame top ten list



Its very small and says air freshener on it.



Rabbis have better Christmas trees than yours.



Some guy named Mujibur puts a crappy Statue of Liberty on top of it



Constantly bragging about its trunk size