15
Sep

Solutions For An Insane World

Problem: World Hunger





Solution: Chop up some of the hungry people and feed them to other hungry people until no one is hungry anymore.





Problem: World Peace





Solution: Remove all the humans from the planet.





Problem: Poverty





Solution: Give the poor people the job of chopping up the hungry people and pay them.





Problem: People Leaching Welfare (CANADA)





Solution: Chop them up with the hungry people.





Problem: War





Solution: Create a new law so that for every person you kill, you loose a limb. Bullets and firearms will be sold to you, but at the price of a limb. When you die, your firearms will be cremated with you.





Problem: Injustice





Solution: This will never be solved, because no matter how fair something may be, some damn whiner will bitch about it and come up with some lame excuse as to why it is unfair.





Problem: Over Population





Solution: Sterilize the population.





Problem: Nuclear Weapons





Solution: Dismantle them and send them into space. If we ever need them to blow up an asteroid, then put them together again.





Problem: Aliens Stealing DNA Samples





Solution: Start shooting DNA into space to save the aliens the trip… and us the probing.





Problem: Washing Machine & Dryer Stealing Socks





Solution: Take them into the fields and shoot them along with the designers.





Problem: Stupid People





Solution: Kill them. Only I get to decide who lives.





Problem: Bad Parents





Solution: Parents must pass a test administered by me. If they fail, they get sterilized until they pass the test. If you fail twice, you stay sterilized for 5 years.





Problem: Animal Abuse





Solution: Kill the person doing it. I get to kill them.





Problem: Space Junk Floating AroundSolution: Make a giant pool skimmer and clean the place up! How can we possibly have company over when the place is a mess?





Problem: Stupid Teenage Female Puppet Singers (Like Brittany Spears)





Solution: Pump up their fake boobs until they explode or fuck them up the ass real hard until they bleed to death. Tape it as well so I can piss myself laughing.





Problem: Dumbass All Boy Bands Who All Sound The Same





Solution: Force them to do their little dance routines for months, or until they collapse. If that doesnt work, then fuck them up the ass real hard until they bleed to death. Then shoot them and tape it for me.

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