Speeding Ticket

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange.

Officer: May I see your drivers license?

Driver: I dont have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owners card for this vehicle?

Driver: Its not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: Thats right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owners card
in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: Theres a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes sir. Thats where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who
owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: Theres a body in the trunk?!

Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly
surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It is valid.

Captain: Whos car is this?

Driver: Its mine, officer. Heres the owners card.

The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if theres a gun in

Driver: Yes, sir, but theres no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said theres a body
in it.

Driver: No problem.

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I dont understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him
you didnt have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that
there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, Ill bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too.

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