21
May

Stand and deliver

The Queen and Di were out for a drive in one of the Queens Range Rovers. Suddenly some armed robbers leapt out of the bushes and stopped the car. Give us your money, they shouted at the Queen.

But Im the Queen of England; I have no need for money.

Oh, shit, said the leader of the armed band, and turned to Di. Give us yer jewels.

But I dont wear my jewels all the time, only on state occasions.

The armed robbers looked fed up, when suddenly they heard the sound of wailing sirens approaching. Quick, out of the car. Well have the Range Rover at least!

And with that the robbers drove off. As the Queen and Di waited for the police to get there, Di turned to the Queen. What did you do with all the cash you had? Youre always loaded.

Ah, said the Queen, I saw the robbers and in the few seconds before they got to the car I rolled up my notes and tucked them into that little private place that women have. Reaching under her skirt, she produced several thousand pounds in notes.

And what did you do with your jewels? You always wear lots of jewelry, my dear, the Queen said to Di.

Well, like you, in those few seconds before the robbers got to the car, I slipped off my rings, necklaces and tiara, and like you, slipped them into that little place that only women have. Reaching down, she plucked out her jewelry.

They both sat quietly for a few minutes, before the Queen turned to Di. You know, if Fergie had been with us, we could still have that Range Rover.

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