Old Jokes | New Jokes

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever,but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.
- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss Universe contest Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC Ive never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I cant help but cry. I mean Id love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff.
- Mariah Carey, pop singer Im not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents The police are not here to create disorder. Theyre here to preserve disorder.
- Former Chicago mayor Daley during the infamous 1968 Democratic Party convention China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese.
- Former French President Charles de Gaulle I havent committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.
- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes. The Internet is a great way to get on the Net.
- Republican presidential candidate Bob Dole Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
- Former U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower Traditionally, most of Australias imports come from overseas
- Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery Were going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
- Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana…. The researchers also discovered other simila