Summer days are here again

Summer days are here again
by Jeffrey Yamaguchi

[W]eve come up with a few excuses to help get you out of work during these glorious summer months. Weve used the very elements of summer to help you get some more time hanging out poolside, getting a tan, swimming at the beach, or whatever floats your boat in the heat of these sizzling summer days. All we know is that you dont want to be at the office. In pants. Or shoes. Or maybe clothes altogether, for that matter.

Long live the summer. Make it last, and make the most of it.Find that bar with the patio and order some nice cold onesevery damn sun setting, royal blue sky night. Yes!

Here are the excuses:

It was so hot yesterday that the wool suit I was wearing gave me this horrible rash. I dont think I can make it into the office. My face and neck are just covered with this rash, and my legs as well. I think Id really scare people, and its just itchy as all hell…

I fell asleep in the sun yesterday, and Ive got a really bad sunburn. I can barely move, and I think I might have to go to the doctor. (Of course, this means you have to go spend some time in the sun on your day off. Poor you.)

My air conditioner must have blown out a fuse, and so my alarm clock didnt go off this morning. And it got so stuffy in my apartment that it must have made me really oversleep. I cant believe its almost noon… and Im just totally dehydrated and not feeling too well. I dont think Ill be able to come in at all today.

I was doing volunteer community clean up work in the sun all day yesterday, and I worked myself so hard that I think Im suffering from heatstroke. Im not feeling well, so I better stay home today, just to make sure Im okay.

I was swimming in the ocean yesterday, and I accidentally swallowed a whole bunch of salt water, and Im not feeling too well today. Real queasy. Im sure its nothing but I better stay home, drink lots of water, and rest up. Im sure Ill be fine by tomorrow.

My cat usually goes outside during the day while Im at work, but right after I let him out, I realized how hot it was outside, and I just knew he should not be out in heat like this. Ill come in as soon as I can, but Ive got to find my cat. He just took off. I cant find him. Hes a really furry cat and I just know he wont do well in this heat. Im so worried. I better get off the phone so I can keep looking for him.

I was rushing to get to work and I jumped into the car and the car seat was so hot that I burned the back of my legs. Theyre all red and swollen and sore, so I think Im going to have to let them heal today. Its no big deal – I just wouldnt be able to sit at my desk all day. But Ill be in tomorrow.

I was walking around barefoot yesterday and I stepped on a nail. I could barely walk yesterday, and today its just a little bit better. I should be fine by tomorrow, but today, well, it still kind of hurts, and I also have to go to the doctor to get a tetanus shot.

http://www.workingfortheman.com/ (c) Jeffrey Yamaguchi

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