Telemarketer Torture 2004

to do when your dinner is interrupted:
– Ask them if theyve got beer
– Start speaking in tongues
– Tell them that person doesnt live there anymore.
Give them the number of an adult service and tell
them that it is her/his new number
– Tell them that youre not there right now
– Ask them if they accept coupons
– Start selling them something else
– If someone calls soliciting donations, tell them
youre poor and ask for money instead
– Start preaching your religion to them
– Pretend youre a recording and say "The number
you have reached is not in service. Please check the
number and dial again, or talk to your operator for
assistance. Recording A4." Extra points for imitating
the 3 rising tones at the beginning.
– Try to hypnotise the telemarketer
– Play a recording of a busy signal
– Put on some really annoying music and put the phone
up to the stereo.
– Ask the telemarketer if he/she is single. Then
try hitting on him/her. Be sure to mention your various
medical problems, your fascination with odd smells
and your shrine to the Lawrence Welk Show.
– Use one of those voice changers to disguise your
– Rap all your replies to the telemarketers questions,
especially if youre white.
– Ask the TM if he/she minds if you talk to him/her
on the toilet. Then take a plastic Heinz ketchup bottle
and squeeze out ketchup repeatedly (if youre ever
used this kind of ketchup youll know what kind of
sound this makes!!!!!)

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