Telltale signs that youre being stalked by Martha Stewart
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- You get a threatening note made up of letters neatly cut out of a magazine with pinking shears;
- You find a slice of lemon floating in your dogs dish;
- Every napkin in your house has been folded into the shape of a swan;
- On her TV show she makes a replica of your home out of gingerbread, including your fallen-down licorice downspout and stuck-half-open, graham-cracker, garage door;
- You find your pet bunny simmering on the stove in an exquisitie, tarragon, rose-petal and saffron demi-glace.
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