It seems a man in Balham, South London decided to write a book about churches, mosques and synagogues around the country. He started by driving to Scotland and started working south from there.

He went to a very large church and began taking pictures. He spots a golden telephone on a wall and is intrigued with a sign that reads; £10,000.00 a minute. Seeking out the reverend father he asks about the phone and the sign. The reverend father answers that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to Heaven and if he pays the price he can talk directly to God.

He thanks the reverend and continues on his way. As he visits churches and mosques in Glasgow, Newcastle, Blackpool, Carlisle, Cardiff, Birmingham and London, he finds more phones with the same sign. From each reverend father, vicar mullah and pastor he receives the same answer.

Finally, he arrives into Clayhall, Essex and into a synagogue. Upon entering, low and behold, he sees the usual golden telephone, but this time the sign reads; Calls: 25 pence Fascinated, he speaks to the Rabbi. Rabbi I have been in cities all across the country and in each church and mosque I found this golden telephone, and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to God, but in all other places of worship the cost was £10,000.00 a minute. Your sign reads 25 pence a call. Why?

The Rabbi , smiling benignly, replies; My son, youre in Clayhall, Essex now. Its a local call.