Weve got the
Atkins diet, the South Beach diet and the Jenny Craig diet. Id like to
introduce an even cheaper and more effective diet, the COSTCO diet! Its
cost effective and easy to do even on your busiest shopping day. Heres
how it works.
Start by making a grocery list of 10 or more items and then head to your
local COSTCO or similar warehouse store. When you get there, carefully
tear your list into strips and put all the strips in your pocket. Grab
a shopping cart and youre ready to go!
Pull out the first strip and make your way all the way across the store
to that item. As you trek through the store, you will see vendors giving
out free food samples. As you pass the third one, take a sample of what
ever they are selling. Repeat with each strip of paper until you have
finished your shopping. By the time you are finished, you will have eaten
5 to 10 samples and will have walked at least 5 miles.
There are several important points to remember;
1) There is a law of nature that says, "Whatever you look for in
COSTCO will be on the opposite side of the warehouse." This ensures
that you will walk far enough to satisfy the American Heart Associations
exercise requirement.
2) Do not skip the melba-toast with cream cheese sample in order to get
the Ben and Jerrys ice cream sample. Its the randomness of the food
selection that guarantees a balanced diet.
3) Do not double dip. Getting two samples from the same vendor at the
same time is NOT acceptable. We know you wont get two samples of fried
squid to make up for it, so dont kid yourself when you grab that second
cup of ice cream.
If you dont have paper to write your shopping list on, you can get a
similarly random list by calling your spouse. "Hi! Im at Costco,
want anything?" will almost always result in half a dozen things
that you just have to buy. Dont forget to pick up a 10 pack of writing
tablets on aisle 10.