The Fund Raising Problems of Father Murphy

Father Murphy was a priest in a very poor parish. He asked for
suggestions as to how he could raise money for his church. He was
told that horse owners always had money so ho went to a horse auction,
but he made a very poor buy, as the horse turned out to be a donkey.
However, he thought that he might as well enter the donkey in a race.

The donkey came in third, and the next day the headlines in the
paper read, Father Murphys Ass Shows. The archbishop saw the paper
and was very displeased. The next day, the donkey came in first and the
headlines read Father Murphys Ass out front. The Archbishop was up
in arms and figured that something had to be done.

Father Murphy entered the donkey for the third time and this time
this time it came in second. Now the headlines read Father Murphys
Ass back in place. The Archbishop thought this too much so he forbad
the priest to enter the donkey the next day, which inspired the editor
to write Archbishop Scratches Father Murphys Ass. Finally, the
Archbishop heard this and ordered Father Murphy to get rid of the
donkey. So he gave it to Sister Agatha for a pet. Now the headlines
read Nun Owns Best Ass in Town. When the archbishop heard this, he
ordered her to dispose of the animal at once, so she sold it for ten
dollars. The next day the headlines read Sister Agatha Peddles Her
Ass for Ten Dollars.

They buried the Archbishop.