A guy comes home three sheets to the wind and all three sheets ripping bad, Budweiser sloshing around in his belly like a keg adrift in a roiling sea. He loop-legs it through the door and is met by his wife, who is scowling, figuring hes been out jumping new bones.

Where the hell you been all night?

she demands.

At this fantastic new saloon, he says.

The Golden Saloon. Everything there is golden.

Bullshit! Theres no such place! Guy says, Sure there is! Joints got huge golden doors, a golden floor. Hell, even the urinals gold! The wife still doesnt believe his story, and the next day checks the phone book, finding a place across town called the Golden Saloon. She calls up the place to check her old mans story.

Is this the Golden Saloon?

she asks when the bartender answers the phone.

Yes it is, bartender answers.

Do you have huge golden doors?

Sure do.

Do you have golden floors?

Most certainly do.

What about golden urinals?

Theres a long pause, then the woman hears the bartender yelling,

Hey, Duke, I think I got a lead on the guy that pissed in your saxophone last night!