26
Jun

The Grapes of Wrath – for wine drinkers

1996 will be remembered for:

The introduction of doggy bottles for French diners so they can take the remainder of their Beaujolias home and not risk being over the drink-drive limit.
The decision by Stockholm transport authorities to use cheap Spanish wine to power 82 of their buses.
The marketing of genuine Lesbian-produced wine in Germany, guaranteed to be untouched by male hands.
The recall of 30000 bottles of 1993 Chateau Mouton-Rothschild from America because protesters claimed the label – showing a delicate nude by the artist, Balthus – was an enticement for child abuse.
And the invention in Japan of a womans bra which features two little compartments for warming sake wine, one in each cup.

…Trolling the wine shelves in six countries this year, I have spotted absolutely genuine vintages labelled Chateau de Tremble, Buzbag, El Bollox, Coma, El Baterio, Latrun, Arses Rioja – you had a choice between white Arses, red Arses and rose Arses – and my newest discovery, BSE rouge.

She [Dorothy Parker] was once persuaded to try a vile home-made brew by her hosts, who had converted their garden in Tuscany into a miniature vineyard.

Where on earth does this wine come from?, she gasped, as the tannin ate into the enamel of her gritted teeth.

From our own garden, beamed her hosts, with all the smug self-satisfaction of home wine-makers.

Doesnt travel, said Dorothy.

Taken from Perrot Philips article in the Expat Investor.

And now a couple of wine observations from my year in Nigeria:

The supermarkets there sold the older wines at a reduced price since they obviously were no good as no-one had bought them yet.

The hotel restaurant insisted on keeping all wines, including the reds, in the fridge on the basis that people only wanted cold drinks in the tropics. The bottles would appear covered in frost. However, after great argument and protests of disbelief from the wine waiter we were able to get our bottles from the trolley, kept in the restaurant, used to display what wines were available. Of course we were given a discount since the wine was served warm.

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