31
May

The History of the Universe in 200 Words or Less

Quantum fluctuation. Inflation. Expansion. Strong nuclear interaction.
Particle-antiparticle annihilation. Deuterium and helium production.
Density perturbations. Recombination. Blackbody radiation. Local
contraction. Cluster formation. Reionization? Violent relaxation.
Virialization. Biased galaxy formation? Turbulent fragmentation.
Contraction. Ionization. Compression. Opaque hydrogen. Massive star
formation. Deuterium ignition. Hydrogen fusion. Hydrogen depletion. Core
contraction. Envelope expansion. Helium fusion. Carbon, oxygen, and
silicon fusion. Iron production. Implosion. Supernova explosion. Metals
injection. Star formation. Supernova explosions. Star formation.
Condensation. Planetesimal accretion. Planetary differentiation. Crust
solidification. Volatile gas expulsion. Water condensation. Water
dissociation. Ozone production. Ultraviolet absorption. Photosynthetic
unicellular organisms. Oxidation. Mutation. Natural selection and
evolution. Respiration. Cell differentiation. Sexual reproduction.
Fossilization. Land exploration. Dinosaur extinction. Mammal expansion.
Homo sapiens manifestation. Animal domestication. Food surplus production.
Civilization! Innovation. Exploration. Religion. Warring nations. Empire
creation and destruction. Exploration. Colonization. Taxation without
representation. Revolution. Constitution. Election. Expansion.
Industrialization. Rebellion. Emancipation Proclamation. Invention. Mass
production. Urbanization. Immigration. World conflagration. League of
Nations. Suffrage extension. Depression. World conflagration. Fission
explosions. United Nations. Space exploration. Assassinations. Lunar
excursions. Resignation. Computerization. World Trade Organization.
Internet expansion. Composition. Extrapolation?

Copyright 1996 by Eric Schulman

(Inspired by The History of the United States in 100 words or Less by
David Hyatt (C) 1992).

Most viewed Jokes (20)