12
Jan

The male speak dictionary

IM GOING FISHING
Translated: Im going to drink myself dangerously stupid and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.

ITS A GUY THING
Translated: There is no rational thought pattern connected with it and you have no chance at all of making it logical.

CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?
Translated: Why isnt it already on the table?

UH HUH, SURE, HONEY, OR YES, DEAR
Translated: Absolutely nothing. Its a conditioned response.

IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN
Translated: I have no idea how it works.

TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOURE WORKING TOO HARD.
Translated: I cant hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.

THATS INTERESTING, DEAR.
Translated: Are you still talking?

YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS.
Translated: I remember the theme song to F Troop, the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car Ive ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.

I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, & GOT YOU THESE ROSES.
Translated: The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe.

OH, DONT FUSS – I JUST CUT MYSELF, ITS NO BIG DEAL.
Translated: I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that Im hurt.

HEY, IVE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT IM DOING.
Translated: And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.

I CANT FIND IT.
Translated: It didnt fall into my outstretched hands, so Im completely clueless.

WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?
Translated: What did you catch me at?

I HEARD YOU.
Translated: I havent the foggiest clue what you just said and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you dont spend the next 3 days yelling at me.

YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE.
Translated: I am used to the way you yell at me and realize it could be worse.

YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.
Translated: Oh, please dont try on one more outfit, Im starving.

I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.
Translated: No one will ever see us alive again.

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