Just after I got married, I decided to have a night with the boys.

I told the misses that I would be home by midnight…promise!

Well, the yarns were being spun and the grog was going down easy, and at around 3 a.m. full as a boot, I went home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock started, and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly I realized shed probably wake up, so I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself, having the quick wittedness, even when smashed, to escape a possible conflict.

The next morning the misses asked me what time I got in and I told her 12 oclock. Whew! Got away with that one!

She then told me that we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked her why she said Well, it cuckooed 3 times, said shit, cuckooed another 4 times, farted, cuckooed another 3 times, cleared its throat, and cuckooed twice then giggled.