This guy goes into a bar and orders a beer. As he sits drinking, he notices a peanut jump out of the dish before him. The peanut proceeds to talk, hey there buddy, it hollers, youre looking mighty fine tonight!

The guy cant believe what he is seeing. This sure is some strong beer! He thinks to himself before getting up to go to the toilet. On his way back to the bar, the guy walks past a cigarette machine which appears to speak ,hey asshole, go screw yourself! it yells.

The guy cant believe it and decides to ask the bartender whats going on. Hey bartender, I swear to god that one of those peanuts over there just started a conversation with me and on the way back from the mens room, your cigarette machine just swore at me.

Let me explain, replies the bartender the peanuts are complimentary and the cigarette machine is out of order.