31
Dec

The Texas Hillbilly

(Sing along to the tune of Beverly Hillbillies)

Come and listen to my story bout a boy named Bush.
His IQ was zero and his head was up his tush.
He drank like a fish while he drove all about.
But that didnt matter cuz his daddy bailed him out.
DUI, that is.
Criminal record.
Cover-up.

Well, the first thing you know little Georgie goes to Yale.
He cant spell his name but they never let him fail.
He spends all his time hangin out with student folk.
And thats when he learns how to snort a line of coke.
Blow, that is.
White gold.
Nose candy.

The next thing you know theres a war in Vietnam.
Kin folks say, George, stay at home with Mom.
Let the common people get maimed and scarred.
Well buy you a spot in the Texas Air Guard.
Cushy, that is.
Country clubs.
Nose candy.

Twenty years later George gets a little bored.
He trades in the booze, says that Jesus is his Lord.
He said, Now the White House is the place I wanna be.
So he called his daddys friends and they called the GOP.
Gun owners, that is.
Falwell.
Jesse Helms.

Come November 7, the election ran late.
Kin folks said Jeb, give the boy your state!
Dont let those colored folks get into the polls.
So they put up barricades so they couldnt punch their holes.
Chads, that is.
Duval County.
Miami-Dade.

Before the votes were counted five Supremes stepped in.
Told all the voters Hey, we want George to win.
Stop counting votes! was their solemn invocation.
And thats how George finally got his coronation.
Rigged, that is.
Illegitimate.
No moral authority.

Yall come vote now, ya hear?

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