The Top 13 Little-Known Effects Of El Nino
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- Weather Channel temporarily passes Knitting Channel in ratings.
- During concert, Hanson breaks out into a raucous version of mmmGuantanamera.
- Tori Spelling, confused by lack of sunshine, goes into hibernation.
- Unusually high tides in silicon implants responsible for delaying production of Barb Wire 2.
- Instead of flying south, Canadian geese just cross the border to shop.
- Home Shopping Networks ratings plummet as trailer park residents nationwide seek higher ground.
- Increased moisture in air means William Shatner needs less SuperGlue to hold his hair down.
- In a first for a weather pattern, El Nino signs with Nike for a cool 36 million.
- Groundhog comes out of his hole on Feb. 2 and — ZAP — the only thing left of his hairy little rear is the smell of burnt fur and ozone.
- Matt Lauer responds to everything Katie Couric says with a booming Claro Que Si!
- Minor changes in Earths magnetic field allow Jennifer Aniston to complete a thought.
- Rash of muskrat sightings in Vegas turns out to be thousands of toupees floating in from Hollywood.
- Confused British nannies begin swinging babies counter-clockwise instead of clockwise.
[ This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff Davis, Inc. ]
[ The Top Five List top5@walrus.com http://www.topfive.com ]
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Thanx to Keiths Mostly Clean Humor & Weird (McHaw) List.
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