The Top 14 Tips for Surviving College

14. Minimize food budget by scheduling classes around Happy Hour.

13. Enjoy being a Sophomore — It will be the best three years of your life.

12. Wear an athletic cup to panty raids, because its all fun and games until someone loses their nads.

11. Lemon juice and baking soda make an excellent bong water stain remover.

10. Earn extra cash by parlaying chemistry knowledge into lucrative home pharmaceuticals business.

9. If an 8:00 am class is required for your major, change your major.

8. Boring lecture? Start a wave!

7. College-level algebra: 5 returnable bottles = 1 delicious Ramen Noodle dinner.

6. I Phelta Thi is *not* a real fraternity, except at state colleges.

5. Remember – almost no one complains when you puke in a dumpster.

4. Clever margin manipulation can turn a 4-page outline into a 100-page senior essay.

3. Football games were never meant to be observed by sober people.

2. Dont think of it as sleeping with your professor — think of it as acing Biology.

and the Number 1 Tip for Surviving College…

1. In a pinch, beer can be used as a milk substitute in your breakfast cereal.

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