There was a very rich old Irish man who had a little dog. It meant the
world to him. When the dog died he went to the priest. Father Murphy, my
little dog is dead. Id sure appreciate it if yed say a public mass fer
im.

Sorry, Patrick, said the priest, we dont say mass fer dogs n
the like. But you go on down there to the Protestant church. With their
progressive thinking, who knows what theyll do!

Well, Father, I wouldnt
want to offend them. Do ya think a donation of a-hundred-thousand pounds
would be fitting fer such a service? Patrick asked.

Now, Patrick, why
didnt ye tell me that there little dog was Catholic in the first place?!