I will not play tug-of-war with Dads underwear when hes on the toilet.

The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when Im lying under the coffee table.

I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
I will not eat the cats food, before or after they eat it.

I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in
the house when I am about to throw up.

I will not throw up in the car.
I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
Kitty box crunchies are not food.

I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.

The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
I will not wake Mommy up with my cold, wet nose on her bottom.
I will not chew my humans toothbrush and not tell them.

When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when its raining outside.

We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.
I will not steal my Moms underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.
The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dads laps.
My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

I will not bite the officers hand when he reaches in for Moms drivers license and car registration.