Ive learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

Ive learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

Ive learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

Ive learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes.

After that, youd better have a big dick or huge tits.

Ive learned that you can keep puking long after you think youre finished.

Ive learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when youre down will be the ones who do.

Ive learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get arrested and end up in the local paper.

Ive learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.

Ive learned to say Fuck em if they cant take a joke in 6 languages.

Pass this along to 5 friends…trust me, theyll appreciate it –

If not… Fuck em if they cant take a joke!