Things Youll Never Hear A Redneck Say

  • Duct tape wont fix that.

  • Wrasslins fake.

  • No kids in the back of the pick-up, its not safe.

  • Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.

  • We dont keep firearms in this house.

  • Has anybody seen the sideburn trimmer?

  • You cant feed that to the dog.

  • I thought Graceland was tacky.

  • Ill take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex

  • Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?

  • Were vegetarians.

  • Do you think my hair is too big?

  • Ill have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy.

  • Honey, these bonsai trees need watering.

  • Whos Richard Petty?

  • Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

  • Deer heads detract from the decor.

  • Spitting is such a nasty habit.

  • I just couldnt find a thing at Wal-Mart today.

  • Trim the fat off that steak.

  • Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

  • The tires on that truck are too big.

  • Actually, unsweetened tea tastes better.

  • Would you like your fish poached or broiled?

  • My fiancee, Paula Jo, is registered at Tiffanys.

  • Ive got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.

  • Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.

  • Checkmate.

  • Shes too old to be wearing that bikini.

  • Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.

  • Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?

  • Hey, heres an episode of Hee Haw that we havent seen.

  • I dont have a favorite college team.

  • Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.

  • I believe you cooked those green beans too long.

  • Elvis who?

Most viewed Jokes (20)