12
May

Thoughts From Women…

Thoughts From Women About Being A Woman

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.

* Helen Hayes (at 73)

I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrow.

* Janette Barber

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.

* Lily Tomlin

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.

* Carrie Snow

Old age aint no place for sissies.

* Bette Davis

If you cant be a good example, then youll just have to be a horrible warning.

* Catherine Aird

A mans got to do what a mans got to do. A woman must do what he cant.

* Rhonda Hansome

The phrase working mother is redundant.

* Jane Sellman

Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

* Charlotte Whitton

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.

* Caryn Leschen

Whoever thought up the word Mammogram? Every time I hear it, I think Im supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone.

* Jan King

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.

* Jennifer Unlimited

When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME slow!

* Kathy Buckley

Im not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know Im not dumb and Im also not blonde.

* Dolly Parton

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.

* Erica Jong

If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.

* Sue Grafton

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.

* Laurie Kuslansky

I think – therefore Im single.

* Lizz Winstead

You know the hardest thing about having cerebral palsy and being a woman? Its plucking your eyebrows. Thats how I originally got pierced ears.

* Geri Jewell

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

* Elayne Boosler

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

* Maryon Pearson

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man – if you want anything done, ask a woman.

* Margaret Thatcher

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.

* Gloria Steinem

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home who answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late every night.

* Marie Corelli

If men can run the world, why cant they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?

* Linda Ellerbee

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.

* Eleanor Roosevelt

Most viewed Jokes (20)