A guy with a black eye boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits

down in his seat. He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye. He says to him, Hey this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes; mind if ask how you got yours?

Other guy: Well, it just happened. It was a tongue twister accident.

See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with huge, huge breasts was there. So, instead of saying Id like a ticket to Pittsburgh, I said Id like a picket to Tittsburgh. She socked me one.

First guy: Mine was a tongue twister too. I was at the breakfast table and I wanted to say to my wife: Please pour me a bowl of Wheaties.

But I accidentally said: You ruined my life you fucking bitch!