Top 10 reasons I shouldve stayed single

  1. Cooking my own meals would be an adventure, not a punishment.
  2. I wouldnt have to explain why Im wearing that shirt with those pants.
  3. I could leave the toilet seat in any position I damn well please.
  4. I could actually tell the bartender, If anyone calls, Im here.
  5. Id be painting the town instead of the house.
  6. I could show my girlfriend where I live.
  7. Id be driving a miniskirt instead of a minivan.
  8. The only weeds Id be concerned with are the ones Im rolling.
  9. I would have saved $372,416.21 in groceries by now.
  10. I wouldnt catch so much grief about those skid-marks in my underwear!

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