Top 10 Reasons the Borg have NOT returned to fight the Federation again
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- New assimilation software turned out to be vaporware; back to square one when the suppliers 1-800 number was disconnected.
- Assimilation of Locutus caused chaos as the Borg became caught up in a massive Sam Spade adventure game craze.
- If Earth were assimilated, the commute from Borg home planet would be a killer drive.
- Collective Borg decided a cube was to complicated a form – awaiting building of a new pyramid ship.
- Earth was too blue for their tastes; they were hoping for an emerald green planet, something in a teal, with tasteful lavender clouds.
- Bidding war for exclusive appearance in Coke or Pepsi commercials too agonizing a choice… returned home to rebuild decision circuits.
- Earth too close to the sun… would ruin their cultivated pallor.
- They heard that Worf bragged of personally kicking their butts if they showed their face in the sector again… began laughing for first time, havent stopped yet.
- $29 navigation chip failed… they now have NO idea where Earth is… wandering out by the Cardassians, asking directions.
And the number one reason the Borg havent returned to Earth….
- WESLEY CRUSHER
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