I made this up while attending a party where the average IQ was on the order
of that of a small ball of lint. As you probably guessed, I left early.

Top 10 disqualifiers for consideration of relational status:

10. Uses party as a verb.

9. Knows all the words to Why Dont We Get Drunk and Screw?

8. Considers Whooooo! a valid form of expressing approval

7. Thinks quark plasma is a party drink

6. Hair mass > brain mass

5. Thinks electron transfer is a new dance step popularized by the New
Kids on the Block

4. Thinks Dr. Spock has cute pointy ears

3. Has accepted more drinks than IQ, and still isnt drunk

2. Isnt expecting to go home tonight, but is hoping for a ride in the
morning

1. Needs pronunciation guide to read the television listings