1. I cant reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

2. Hey, you mustve been doin about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

3. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

4. Youre not gonna check the trunk, are you?

5. I pay your salary!

6. Gee, Officer! Thats terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

7. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. Thats how far ahead of me they are.

8. Officer, I swear to drunk Im god!!

9. Sorry, Officer, I didnt realize my radar detector wasnt plugged in.

10. When the Officer says Gee Son…. Your eyes look red, have you been drinking? You probably shouldnt respond with, Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?