No, you may not borrow my underwear, Mr. Kaczynski.
In my professional opinion, if I were a 50-year-old virgin, Id go freakin nuts, too!
I give up, Ted – whats black & red and charred all over?
Boy BOMB! Girl BOMB! Airport BOMB! Okay, thats enough word association.
Look, Ted – Im no lawyer, but Ive got doubts about your Prairie Oyster defense.
That ink blot looks like the oppressive technocratic regime attempting to enslave our free minds … or maybe a bunny rabbit.
Would you *please* stop making that ticking noise?!
Actually, Ted, Id prefer you *fax* me your manifesto.
Why dont you and I run away together? I know a great little unheated cottage in the middle of nowhere!
You read the entire manifesto? Geez, and they think *Im* crazy!
Now tell me again, Ted – which one is Itchy?
I *must* be insane – to sell name-brand VCRs and televisions at such low prices!!! This Friday only, at Krazy Teds Electronics Outlet!!!
Man, that OJ is a nut, isnt he?
Okay, Marvin Gardens with three houses, thats $875….

and the Number 1 Thing Overheard Between the Unabomber and the Psychiatrist …

Violent fantasies?! Hey, youre the one showing me all these inkblot pictures of explosions.

[ This list copyright 1998 by Chris White ]
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Ruminations & Ponderances

A great way for to lose weight is to eat naked in front of a mirror. Restaurants will almost always throw you out before you can eat too much.

(Thanks to Frank Varano)