Top 20 Signs Its a Bad Day

  1. You wake up face down on the pavement.
  2. You put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
  3. You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.
  4. You see a 60 minutes news team waiting in your office.
  5. Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
  6. You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party and there arent any.
  7. You turn on the news and theyre showing emergency routes out of the city.
  8. Your twin sister forgot your birthday.
  9. You wake up and discover your waterbed broke and then realize that you dont have a waterbed.
  10. Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hells Angels on the freeway.
  11. Your wife wakes up feeling amorous and you have a headache.
  12. Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat.
  13. The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.
  14. You wake up and your braces are locked together.
  15. You walk to work and find your dress is stuck in the back of your pantyhose.
  16. Your blind date turns out to be your ex.
  17. Your paycheck bounces.
  18. You put both contact lenses in the same eye.
  19. Your pet rock snaps at you.
  20. Your wife says, Good morning, Bill and your name is George.

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