18
Apr

Top ten drug using cartoon suspects

Gargamel (From the Smurfs)

Most likely LSD. Spends his life in pursuit of little blue guys in sissy white outfits and mentally abusing his cat. What does he plan to do with the blue dwarfs when he catches them anyway?

Olive Oyl

Probably Dexatrim abuse, maybe some amphetamines. Who is that skinny?! She might even be anorexic, she IS always giving her burger to her friend. One side question, what the heck are Popeye and Brutus thinking? They almost made the list for dating her.

Snagglepuss

Cant explain it. Maybe its the name, or the look, but he is definitely suspicious.

He-Man

This is an easy one. I mean cmon. Roid monkey #1. BY THE POWER OF ANABOL!!! Makes me want to root for Skeletor. Alone in his castle, hitting the weights. And on top of that he even injects the stuff in his pet tiger. Animal Abuse!

& 5. Yogi and Boo Boo

We all know what is really in those picnic baskets. They go back to the cave and trip. Another side: Are they gay? I mean, take a look at BooBoo. Not that theres anything wrong with that …

Droopy Dog

The number one downer abuser in toon land. Cant someone slip him an upper every year or two. The only time I ever saw him happy is when he sees the picture of the babe.

Dopey (Dwarf)

He openly admits it. The other dwarfs deny involvement but they are under investigation. Allegations are that Doc is writing some extra scripts for Sneezy and all the guys partaking are afloat.

Daffy Duck

If he isnt using crack, Marion Barry is clean. He is so wired he bounces around on his head without pain. Blows his beak off all the time. Some symptoms might be from daffiness but Haldol wouldnt work for him.

Shaggy

By far the #1 suspect. His clothes, his hair, his bad goatee, the boy converses with dogs. But all of this is nothing until you go to the Munchie Factor. Anybody who averages 9.3 dog treats (scooby snacks) consumed per episode smokes pot. And look at the way he and his friends painted that van!

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