12
May

Translating Menspeak

When He Says - He Really Means ———— - —————- Do you have the time? - to go to bed

Hello - Lets cut the talk and go have sex.

How are you? - in bed, I mean.

Id like a discreet relationship. - I want sex, but Im married.

Ill be out of town for a few days. - Ill be spending time with with the wife.

Im a novelist. - I have 10 unpublished books.

Im coming off a long relationship. - My wife is divorcing me.

Im consulting. - Im looking for a job.

Im divorced. - I just slipped off my wedding ring.

Im in television. - I fix them.

Im involved in banking. - Im a bank guard.

Im self-employed. - I just got fired.

Im sorry I flirted with your sister. - Im sorry I got caught.

Im thinking of relocating. - I cant find a job locally in this town.

I cant leave my wife just yet..soon. - Be patient forever.

I enjoy reading. - Playboy and Penthouse.

I have the Midas touch. - I install mufflers.

I like a woman who is intelligent. - As long as she acts like Im smarter.

I love opera. - I want sex, but Ive seen an opera once.

I play the market. - Safeway

I work high up in an executive office. - Im a window washer.

I work with computers. - Im a cashier at a gas station.

Looking for a satisfying relationship. - I want sex.

My business is really hot right now! - I hand out towels in a steam room.

My job keeps me running. - Im a messenger.

My wife and I are separated. - Shes at home and Im here at the bar.

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