What do you get when you have a cow and a duck?

Milk and quackers.

What does an envelope say when you lick it?

Nothing, it just shuts up.

What does Michael Jackson call his Tickle-me Elmo doll?

Bait.

What goes 99 thump 99 thump 99 thump…?

A centipede with a wooden leg.

What goes Tick tock, woof woof?

A watch dog.

What is a reptiles favorite movie?

The Lizard of Oz.

What is Beethoven doing in his coffin right now?

Decomposing.

What kind of reptile tells time?

A clock-odile.

What kind of snack do little monkeys have with their milk?

Chocolate chimp cookies.

What magazine do cats like to read?

Good Mousekeeping.

Whats happening when you hear woof…splat…meow…splat?

Its raining cats and dogs.